Speed Skiing

Only a fool would go speed skiing with a raging hangover after 5 hours of boozy sleep and on the point of vomiting. Only a complete idiot would do it on a pair of super-stiff race skis he’d never before used. And only a complete imbecile would do it on Friday 13th.

The hangover was thanks to a Genepy bender last night to celebrate Bruce’s birthday. I don’t remember going to bed, but I do remember briefly being the greatest pool player in the world, before doing shots after closing hours with the owner.

The skis are courtesy of eBay and an up and coming young skier called TJ Baldwin. He’s the current British U18 champion in all 6 events. He was ranked No14 in the world for age 18 in Downhill for 2008 and looks like a very bright prospect for British winter sports. I am now the proud owner of his factory downhill race skis from last year.

The “Flying Kilometre” hill in Les Arcs 2000 was created for the 1992 Winter Olympics. Speed Skiing was tried as a potential Olympic sport, but later dropped as it was considered “too dangerous”. Since then it’s been a mecca for speed junkies, throwing themselves down at speeds of up to 150mph until a tragic accident last year. Seeing as most of the KL (flying kilometre) hill is officially closed this year for safety improvements, Club des Sport ran a mini-KL at the bottom for punters which I thought would be a good start.

I dragged my carcass out onto the piste and went for a quick run to remind myself how 215 cm downhill skis felt. Pretty much un-skiable is the answer. They’re so stiff and heavy that until you’re doing 40-50mph they don’t really turn. Sod that, I thought – may as well just go and have a crack anyway.

I got off the lift, traversed to the course and tried to restrain the sudden urge to be sick on my skis. I was given some brief, unintelligible instruction in French which definitely included the words “Dangereux” and “Bof”, tried to remember the advice Kev Alderton had emailed me and pointed the skis downhill.

My ambition has always been to hit 100mph. It just seemed like a nice round number to aim for. As I accelerated down the slope, it became clear that I wasn’t going to get anywhere close to that kind of speed today. At the bottom they confirmed it. 99km/h - 61mph. Fast, but not that quick. And certainly slower than I’ve been before on skis. But a quick look down the list showed it wasn’t a bad time at all. In fact I couldn’t see anyone who had passed 100kmh, and there were several characters hanging about in skin-tight race suits with suspiciously new looking helmets.

My second run hit 101 km/h and my third nudged 102 km/h (63.4mph). Sadly there wasn’t much more to be had, and considering I was wearing a loose fleece, normal salopettes, a snowboarding helmet and a brutal hangover there just wasn’t any more speed to be had. By the end of the day after 60 or so punters I was 3rd best, with one chap late in the day managing 103.5 km/h. I can live with that.

However, off the back of this I have made some contacts and dates permitting, I have been invited out to a proper race on the world speed skiing circuit in Verbier in April, where 100+ mph will be well within my reach!